Why Informal Connections Beat Formal Networking Events

December 30, 2025

Imagine this: you’re at your favorite coffee shop, waiting in line for your usual order. The person ahead of you turns around, smiles, and mentions how they’ve been meaning to try the lavender latte you just ordered. A short conversation follows—maybe about local cafes, work, or a shared interest in podcasts. By the time you leave, you’ve exchanged first names and a friendly nod the next time you see each other. No business cards, no forced small talk, just a natural connection that could grow into something more.

Now, contrast that with a typical networking event: stiff handshakes, rehearsed elevator pitches, and the pressure to “make it count” in five minutes. Which scenario feels more authentic? Which one leaves you excited to follow up?

For most of us, the answer is clear. Informal connections—those unplanned, real-life interactions—often lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships than formal networking ever could. Here’s why, and how you can start making them a regular part of your life.

The Problem with Formal Networking

Networking events are designed to bring people together, but they often do the opposite. The structure, expectations, and pressure to perform can make even the most outgoing person feel like they’re on stage. Here’s what usually goes wrong:

Forced interactions: You’re told to “mingle,” which can feel more like a chore than a genuine opportunity to connect. The pressure to impress within a short time frame can make conversations feel transactional.
Superficial connections: When everyone’s there to “network,” conversations often stay surface-level. You might leave with a stack of business cards, but how many of those people do you actually remember—or want to follow up with?
Time-consuming and draining: Networking events often require travel, preparation, and energy. For introverts or busy professionals, they can feel like a necessary evil rather than an enjoyable way to meet people.
Limited diversity: These events tend to attract people from similar industries or backgrounds, which can limit the range of perspectives and opportunities you encounter.

The result? Many of us leave feeling exhausted, uninspired, and no closer to building the kind of relationships that truly enrich our lives.

The Power of Informal Connections

Informal connections, on the other hand, happen organically. They’re the conversations you have with the person sitting next to you on a train, the neighbor you chat with while walking your dog, or the fellow parent you bond with at your kid’s soccer game. These interactions are low-pressure, authentic, and often lead to connections that feel more natural and sustainable. Here’s why they work so well:

No pressure, no performance: When you’re not trying to “network,” you can relax and be yourself. Conversations flow more naturally, and you’re more likely to connect over shared interests or experiences.
Real-life context: Informal connections often happen in everyday settings, which means you already have something in common—whether it’s a shared commute, a favorite coffee shop, or a local event. This context makes it easier to start and sustain a conversation.
Diverse opportunities: You never know who you’ll meet in your daily life. That person you strike up a conversation with at the gym might work in an industry you’ve never explored, or the fellow traveler on your flight might share a hobby you’ve been wanting to try.
Stronger foundations: Because these connections aren’t forced, they often feel more genuine. You’re not meeting someone because you have to; you’re meeting them because you want to. That mutual interest lays the groundwork for a stronger relationship.

How to Create More Informal Connections

If informal connections are so powerful, how can you make them a regular part of your life? The key is to embrace the opportunities that already exist in your daily routine—and to be open to the unexpected. Here’s how:

1. Be Present in Your Daily Life

Informal connections often start with a simple acknowledgment of the people around you. Instead of scrolling on your phone while waiting in line or walking to work, look up. Smile at the person next to you. Comment on something you both see or experience—like the weather, the music playing in a store, or the book someone’s reading. These small gestures can open the door to a conversation.

Example: You’re at a local farmers’ market, and the vendor hands you a sample of their homemade jam. Instead of just saying “thank you,” ask how long they’ve been making jam or if they have a favorite recipe. You might discover a shared love of cooking—or even a new business opportunity.

2. Say Yes to Spontaneous Moments

Some of the best connections happen when you least expect them. Maybe a coworker invites you to join a group lunch, or a neighbor asks if you want to check out a new exhibit at a local gallery. Saying yes to these moments can lead to unexpected friendships or collaborations.

Example: You’re at a bookstore, and the person next to you mentions they’re looking for recommendations. Instead of brushing them off, you suggest a book you loved. The conversation could lead to a discussion about your favorite authors, a shared love of a particular genre, or even a plan to attend a local book club together.

3. Follow Up on Real-Life Encounters

The magic of informal connections often happens after the initial interaction. If you’ve had a great conversation with someone, don’t let it end there. A simple follow-up can turn a fleeting moment into a lasting connection.

How to follow up: If you’ve exchanged names or contact info, send a quick message referencing something you talked about. For example: “Hey, it was great chatting with you about hiking trails at the coffee shop yesterday! If you’re ever up for exploring [local trail], let me know.”
Use a proximity-based social app: If you’ve crossed paths with someone but didn’t get a chance to exchange contact info, a tool like Matuvu can help. It’s a social proximity app that lets you reconnect with people you’ve seen in real life—whether it’s at a café, a coworking space, or a local event. With Matuvu, you can follow up on those spontaneous encounters and let the connection evolve naturally, without any pressure or expectations.

4. Create Opportunities for Informal Interactions

You don’t have to wait for connections to happen—you can create environments where they’re more likely to occur. Here are a few ideas:

Attend local events: Look for small, low-key gatherings like book readings, art walks, or community workshops. These settings are more relaxed than formal networking events and attract people who share your interests.
Join a club or group: Whether it’s a running club, a language exchange, or a volunteer organization, joining a group gives you a built-in reason to connect with others in a natural way.
Work from a café or coworking space: If you work remotely, try working from a café or coworking space a few times a week. The casual environment makes it easy to strike up conversations with the people around you.

5. Embrace the Awkwardness

Not every conversation will lead to a deep connection—and that’s okay. The beauty of informal interactions is that they’re low-stakes. If a conversation fizzles out, you can move on without any hard feelings. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to recognize the moments that do have potential.

Tip: If you’re feeling nervous about starting a conversation, remember that most people appreciate a friendly gesture. A simple “How’s your day going?” or “What brings you here?” can be all it takes to break the ice.

The Long-Term Benefits of Informal Connections

Informal connections aren’t just about meeting new people—they’re about building a richer, more connected life. Here’s how they can benefit you in the long run:

Stronger relationships: Because these connections are built on shared experiences and genuine interest, they often feel more authentic and lasting than those formed in formal settings.
Unexpected opportunities: You never know where an informal connection might lead. That person you chatted with at the dog park might become a collaborator on a project, a mentor, or a close friend.
A sense of community: Informal connections help you feel more rooted in your neighborhood, city, or industry. They remind you that you’re part of something bigger—and that the people around you are more than just faces in the crowd.
Personal growth: Every new connection exposes you to different perspectives, ideas, and experiences. Over time, these interactions can broaden your horizons and help you grow as a person.

Start Small, Think Big

You don’t need to overhaul your social life to start building more informal connections. Small, consistent efforts can make a big difference. Here’s how to get started:

Set a goal: Challenge yourself to have one new conversation each week. It could be with a barista, a fellow commuter, or someone at the gym.
Follow up: If you’ve had a great conversation, don’t let it end there. Send a quick message or use a tool like Matuvu to reconnect with people you’ve crossed paths with.
Be patient: Not every interaction will lead to a lasting connection—and that’s okay. The goal is to stay open to the possibilities that come your way.

Final Thoughts

Formal networking events have their place, but they’re not the only—or even the best—way to build meaningful connections. Informal interactions, born from real-life encounters, often lead to deeper, more authentic relationships. They remind us that connection doesn’t have to be complicated or forced. Sometimes, all it takes is a smile, a shared moment, and the willingness to follow up.

So next time you’re out in the world, look up from your phone. Smile at the person next to you. Strike up a conversation. You never know where it might lead—and that’s the beauty of it.