How to Make People Feel Comfortable Around You
We’ve all been there. You walk into a room, join a conversation, or sit next to someone new, and the energy feels stiff. Maybe it’s a coworker you’ve seen but never spoken to, a neighbor you pass on your morning walk, or a fellow commuter you recognize from the train. The moment feels full of potential, but something holds you both back. What if you could change that? What if the people around you left an interaction feeling just a little lighter, a little more at ease, and maybe even a little more connected to you?
The good news is, making people feel comfortable isn’t about grand gestures or being the life of the party. It’s about small, intentional choices that signal safety, respect, and openness. These are skills anyone can learn, and they make a real difference in how others perceive and respond to you. Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or reconnecting with someone you’ve seen before, these practices can help turn everyday encounters into meaningful moments.
Start with Your Own Comfort
Before you can put others at ease, you need to feel at ease yourself. Social discomfort often stems from overthinking or trying too hard to impress. Instead, shift your focus outward. Remind yourself that most people are just as eager to connect as you are, even if they don’t show it. When you approach interactions with curiosity rather than pressure, your body language and tone naturally become more relaxed. People pick up on this energy and respond in kind.
Try this: Take a deep breath before entering a social space. Smile at yourself in the mirror or give your shoulders a quick roll to release tension. These tiny rituals can ground you and set the tone for a more authentic interaction.
The Power of Recognition
One of the simplest ways to make someone feel comfortable is to acknowledge them. Recognition is a basic human need, and it doesn’t require a long conversation or a shared history. A nod, a smile, or a brief “Hey, I’ve seen you around” can go a long way. It signals that you notice them, that they exist in your world, and that you’re open to connection.
This is especially powerful in urban environments, where people often feel invisible. Think about the barista who remembers your order, the coworker who waves when you pass in the hallway, or the neighbor who says hello when you’re both checking your mail. These small moments of recognition create a sense of belonging and make future interactions feel more natural.
If you’ve ever crossed paths with someone multiple times but never spoken, tools like Matuvu can help bridge that gap. The app shows you people you’ve been near in the last 24 hours, giving you a natural reason to follow up. Instead of wondering “Should I say something?”, you can simply acknowledge the encounter: “Hey, I think we were at the same café yesterday.” This takes the pressure off and makes the interaction feel organic.
Listen More Than You Speak
Most people love to talk about themselves, but few feel truly heard. When you give someone your full attention, you create a space where they can relax and be themselves. Active listening isn’t just about waiting for your turn to speak. It’s about showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying.
Here’s how to do it:
- Make eye contact (but don’t stare). It shows you’re engaged without being intense.
- Nod or use small verbal cues like “Mmm” or “I see” to show you’re following along.
- Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share more. Instead of “Do you like your job?”, try “What’s the most interesting part of your work?”
- Reflect what you hear. Paraphrase their words to show you’re listening. For example, “It sounds like you’re really passionate about that project.”
When you listen deeply, you take the focus off yourself and put it on the other person. This makes them feel valued and understood, which is one of the fastest ways to build comfort and trust.
Use Open Body Language
Your body speaks before you do. Closed-off body language—crossed arms, avoiding eye contact, or turning your body away—can make others feel unwelcome, even if you don’t mean to. On the other hand, open body language invites connection and puts people at ease.
Here are some simple adjustments you can make:
- Uncross your arms and legs. This signals that you’re approachable and open to interaction.
- Face the person you’re talking to. Turning your body toward them shows you’re engaged in the conversation.
- Lean in slightly. This subtle movement communicates interest and attentiveness.
- Smile naturally. A warm, genuine smile is one of the most universal signs of friendliness.
These small changes can make a big difference in how comfortable others feel around you. They’re especially important in group settings, where people often scan the room to see who’s open to conversation.
Share Something About Yourself
While listening is key, sharing a little about yourself can also help put others at ease. It creates a sense of balance in the conversation and shows that you’re willing to be vulnerable too. The key is to keep it light and relevant to the moment.
For example, if someone mentions they love hiking, you might share a quick story about a recent trail you enjoyed. If they’re talking about a challenging project at work, you could mention a similar experience you’ve had. These small disclosures make you relatable and help the other person feel more comfortable opening up.
Avoid oversharing or dominating the conversation. The goal is to create a back-and-forth, not to make the interaction all about you.
Respect Boundaries
Comfort isn’t just about making people feel welcome. It’s also about respecting their space and their pace. Some people are naturally more reserved, and that’s okay. Pushing too hard for a conversation or personal details can make them feel uncomfortable, even if your intentions are good.
Pay attention to their cues. If they give short answers, avoid eye contact, or seem distracted, they might not be in the mood to talk. In these cases, it’s best to keep the interaction brief and positive. A simple “Nice chatting with you” or “Hope you have a great day” can leave the door open for future conversations without pressure.
Follow Up on Real-Life Encounters
One of the most powerful ways to build comfort is to follow up on real-life encounters. When you see someone again after a positive interaction, it reinforces the connection and makes future conversations feel more natural. This is where proximity-based tools can be especially helpful.
For example, if you meet someone at a local event, a coworking space, or even on your daily commute, you can use Matuvu to reconnect. The app shows you people you’ve crossed paths with in the last 24 hours, giving you a natural reason to reach out. Instead of forcing a conversation out of nowhere, you can say something like, “Hey, I think we were at the same bookstore yesterday. Did you end up getting that book you were looking at?”
This approach takes the pressure off and makes the interaction feel organic. It’s a simple way to turn a fleeting moment into a lasting connection, whether that leads to friendship, collaboration, or just a pleasant conversation the next time you see each other.
Practice Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s the foundation of comfort in any interaction. When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you’re more likely to respond in a way that makes them feel seen and valued.
For example, if someone seems nervous, you might adjust your tone to be more gentle. If they’re excited about something, you can match their energy. If they’re having a tough day, you can offer a listening ear without trying to fix their problems. These small acts of empathy create a safe space for the other person to be themselves.
Be Patient with Yourself
Making people feel comfortable is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. You won’t get it right every time, and that’s okay. Some interactions will flow naturally, while others might feel awkward. The important thing is to keep showing up and trying.
Remember that most people are focused on their own insecurities and aren’t judging you as harshly as you might think. If an interaction doesn’t go as planned, let it go and move on. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel.
Small Steps, Big Impact
Making people feel comfortable isn’t about being the most charismatic person in the room. It’s about being present, open, and respectful in your everyday interactions. These small moments add up over time, creating a ripple effect of connection and belonging.
Whether you’re reconnecting with someone you’ve seen before or meeting someone new, the goal is the same: to create a space where both of you can feel at ease. Tools like Matuvu can help by making it easier to follow up on real-life encounters, but the real magic happens in how you show up for those interactions.
So next time you’re in a social setting, take a deep breath, smile, and focus on making the other person feel seen. You might be surprised by how much of a difference it makes—for them and for you.
Ready to turn everyday encounters into meaningful connections? Download Matuvu today and start reconnecting with the people you’ve crossed paths with.